Fic Girl

1. If you're going to confess to killing someone make sure you avoid doing it at the funeral of the person especially if the kid is right there hearing every word.

2. Just shave already. Not many men look good with beads. Actually it can make you look downright silly.

3. Butt the hell out and respect a spouse's decision when it comes to her husband even if you don't agree with it.

4. Knock befor...

1. If you keep seeing your dead mother you might want to test the gun before framing someone for the murder of your twin brother.

2. If you want to frame someone for the murder you think you committed go with the guy that tortured you for years instead of the brother of the woman whose husband you might have killed.

3. Think things through before doing anything because that will bite you on the ass big time.

...

1. Your boyfriend might be gay if he gives you presents and wants you to move in but doesn't try to make the moves on you.

2. Saffron doesn't do anything when you're cooking so don't waste your money.

3. Be aware of your surroundings before talking since a enemy might be listening to your conversation.

4. A massage is awesome but try to avoid doing it when you're supposed to be at work since you...

1. If you're going to become a hooker you might want to get another phone where people can call and arrange a booty call. It isn't good when your wife ends up answering your phone only to get a strange call. You might want to make up cards with an email address to avoid that awkwardness.

2. Be careful about where you go since you don't want to run into someone hooker related when you're out with your wife.

3. Sure breaking thi...

1. If you rescue something that's being held captive in the basement and the guy comes back don't get into his car to hide.

2. If you do the above make sure to get away after you crash the car after all the bad guy has a knack for not getting hurt like he's supposed to.

3. Don't turn your back on a psycho since that's a good way to get shot.

4. Some people get turned on when you tell them ...